News & Notes: May 18, 2010

May 18, 2010

Dear Parents,

God’s peace!

Some weeks ago on a field trip with our 8th grade class, I picked up a “bargain book” entitled, The Intimate Eye, portraits by Bernard Gotfryd. I don’t really know the works of Gotfryd, but I was intrigued by his presentation. The book included rather candid photos of authors, artists, public figures, and other “famous” people. Although the photos were the first thing that drew my eye, it was rather the small snippets of text that truly captured me. These texts included interactions the photographer had with the one being photographed. The exchanges between photographer and subject varied in topic and in focus, but each one provided a keen insight into some aspect of the person who was being photographed.

As I paged through the book I found a striking picture of Sophia Loren. She was looking beyond the camera…stately…and regal. The picture was taken at the Museum of Modern Art where a Sophia Loren film festival was playing. The photographer spoke of the paparazzi that whirled around Loren. The photographer then related the following scene:

“After a five minute session, we were all asked to leave. Being the last one out, I took my time and managed to get several more exposures. She was very gracious. When I thanked her, she said, ‘I hope you got what you wanted.’ ‘One never does,’ I said. ‘That’s very true,’ she said, smiling.’”

I have found myself musing over…wrestling with…pondering…considering this exchange for some time. Do we ever get what we want? This question is such a large and all encompassing one that to ponder it within the scope of this reflection would not do justice to it. I believe it’s one of those questions that has no answer…but the richness of its query is worth engaging in thought.

Saying that, let me simply share one direction I found myself traveling in as I considered this question. One of my first thoughts was to ask yet another question… “Do we really know what it is that we want?” If you were to pause right now and ask yourself this question… what is your response? Do we express what we think we should say considering the audience that surrounds us? World peace…an end to poverty…equality among all people…a just government… or rather do we focus on family and express our wish to have a healthy family…one that is economically stable…a family whose children grow up happy… or are we wont to look at issues of faith by highlighting the need to see God at the center of our lives…to witness to our faith by living what we value?

I challenge you to find a few minutes (that’s like trying to eat just one Lay’s potato chip) to let this question stir within you. The temptation is always to state what we want to be most important… the question is “What do we want now?” The answer to the question for any of us will reveal itself in the way we live now. If I am working to pile up what I believe is a monetary nest egg for my family, then perhaps my focus is economic stability (I wonder if the past few years have taught us that this is nearly impossible). If I find myself running from event to event for my kids, then perhaps my focus is on giving them what they want…or perhaps what I perceive they want or need. In the midst of this frenzy I wonder if the running around and its perception by others is more important than actually taking the time to question what is truly best for my children.

A shorthand response to the question after much consideration finds expression in what may be a simplistic answer: “No, we never get quite what we want.” I believe my reply comes from a sense that we do not really know what it is we want simply because we all too often act before we consider. I also believe that we are all too often moved by others’ “wanting” (keeping up with the Joneses); and therefore live out of others’ wants.

Not getting what I want is not necessarily a “bad” thing. Growing up taught us that sometimes our desires exceeded reality (as well as simple “sense.”) As a nine year old I wanted a horse. My family not only did not have the means to provide one, but my parents were wise enough to know that this desire would pass and it was not essential to what was truly important in living a full life. As a kid I also paid consequences for my wrong choices. These consequences were certainly not what I wanted…but they were, perhaps, among the best lessons I was graced to receive (although in many cases I did not realize this until much later in life!)

I have no doubt that this question will continue to surface in my thoughts and in my prayer. I encourage you to make some time to consider these questions as well… “Do we get what we want in life?”… “Do I know what I want in life?”

May your thoughts lead you to what is essential… what is life-giving…what is true.

In prayer,

Sr. Maureen